Things to do on the tube instead of staring at your phone:

1. Sleep. I don’t advise this, though it is a popular choice

2. Read a free newspaper

3. Memorize the stops

4. Count the stops

5. Quiz yourself on the stops

6. Basically anything related to the stops.

7. Rate the advertisements. Memorize those too

8. When standing, avoid smelling your neighbors armpit without looking rude

9. Will yourself not to sweat. Works in all seasons. Stare longingly at the vent or window if someone has forgotten to open it. Will it to open.

10. Make up stories about the person who made the doors pop back open. Do they still have all their limbs? Will they now make the appointment that caused them to go running at the doors? Visualize how you will one day go running at the doors and successfully not ram your shoulder into one.

11. Plot your next shoe purchase. You have plenty of inspiration, good and bad.

What did I miss? How do you make the most of your ride?